Season 5 Episode 1 – Turn, Turn, Turn

What we’ve Learned in this Episode

1. Eric is fornicating with his sister, Nora. Godric was revealed as her maker.
Ok, so I had to put this in the number one spot. So gross. While I do understand she is not really his biological sister, it’s still kinda creepy. I know Sookie just blew both Eric and Bill off and Eric is livid, but cut the girl some slack! She was under so much pressure to choose; honestly, can you blame her?

2. Bill and Eric are on the run from The Authority.
So they both evaded the True Death for the time being. That explosion was so perfect! I love the bromance that is growing between the two of them. Eric wouldn’t leave Bill when he got injured from the explosion. Be still my beating heart! The chivalry is blossoming. Bro’s forever.

3. Nora is a double agent.
This was a huge reveal that Eric has someone on the inside of The Authority. So secret in fact that he never revealed it to his progeny, Pam.

4. Steve Newlin is in love with Jason Stackhouse.
Say what?! This revelation was a surprise to me. Ok, I admit I didn’t see it coming. Kinda like the fact that Jason is so gullible. Steve has always been a smart man. He knew exactly what to say to Jason to manipulate him into feeling bad enough to look him in the eyes. This was the opportunity to glamour Jason he’d been waiting for. Steve delivered one of the best lines of the evening: “I’m a gay vampire American.” Jason promptly told him he was flattered but “This dog don’t bark that way.”

5. Jessica wears a cape and sings?
Just as Steve was going to bite Jason, Jessica swooped in with her cape and told him “Jason is Mine.” Bill is outta town so Jessica feels she is in charge. She is an older vamp than Steve as well as being a higher ranking vampire. Jason promptly rescinded his invitation and Steve was thrown out the door saying “I love you Jason.”

Jessica is having a college party at Bill’s and is the lead singer on Rockband or Guitar Hero. Honestly, I didn’t know people still played it. It’s not trendy anymore. Jason and Jessica are still in the new stage and not exclusive yet so they are jealous of each other and trying to play it cool. Like fire and ice. They are hot and steamy together. The pairing of these two works in so many ways; it’s dangerous to say the least..

6. Hoyt is still angry with Jason.
He has good reason to be upset with him. Jason is, in all reality, what Hoyt called him – “a girlfriend fucker.” Technically, Jess and Hoyt were not together at the time. Jason really shouldn’t have done it… But he’s Jason. He lives in the moment and knows it’s wrong… He can’t seem to help it and does it anyway.

7. Terry has some serious PTSD.
With the arrival of Scott Foley’s character, Patrick, I think we are finally going to find out what caused Terry’s scarring. (Not the physical kind.) Patrick informs him of the other fires that have killed some people from their unit. Coincidence? I think not.

8. Sookie and Lafayette.
These two have been through so much tragedy! Lafayette loosing Jesus and now possibly Tara too. Sookie and Tara have been friends since childhood. Nothing can break their bond. Tara has always been Sookie’s protector and the one to stick up for her. Sookie has lost so many people close to her. When she is threatened now she is strong and defends herself. She admitted she killed Debbie Pelt and wanted to do it. Debbie was a class A bitch, jealous and possessive. I can relate to Sookie. Debbie would have killed her, there is no doubt in my mind.

9. Tara is a vampire and Pam is her maker.
So I’ve been dying to know Tara’s fate! I figured she would vamp out but I was not expecting Pam to be her maker. Pam said “Turn her I don’t even like her” in true Pam fashion. I really love this twist. It gives these two characters a chance to interact. I’m wondering if Tara is going to be “Bubba” the vampire that was turned a little too late and is not all there (From the Charlaine Harris books). Pam got into the ground with Tara wearing a yellow Walmart sweatsuit that had flowers and butterflies. Poor Pam. Last season her face was falling off and now yellow sweatsuits.

10. Alcide, Sam, Luna are in trouble for killing Marcus.
Marcus’ pack is looking for him. He’s been gone two days. They know he’s dead. They think Sam killed him when it was really Alcide. Sam is a really stand up guy. Once you befriend him and help him out like Alcide did he’s really got your back. While honorable, I think he should have just given Alcide up. The pack threatening to kidnap Luna and her daughter to make him talk just isn’t cool. Marcus was the bad guy here. Good thing Luna told Alcide. It’s a pack matter and should be dealt with as such. Since Alcide killed him he would now be the pack leader. Marcus’ mother was not happy. They didn’t want to bow to him. So to honor her passing son, she eats him. A bit over the top. I think that also happened in the books.

All in all a great season opener. They answered some burning questions, introduced some new characters, and the one liners were great! It left me asking if it was next Sunday yet ’cause the episode flew by. Everything is, in fact, at stake.

Favorite Quotes
Pam: “I’m wearing a Walmart sweatsuit for ya’ll. If that’s not a demonstration of team spirit I don’t know what is.”

Eric: “We fight like siblings, but we f**k like champions”

Bill: “I’d keep the noise down in there, New Orleans is only 60 miles away.”

Pam: “Color me impressed, you guys know how to party.”

Pam: “I can’t be the only one noticing that she’s missing half her head, can I? Even if I tried, what’s to say she won’t rise up out of the ground tomorrow night completely “fucktarded.”

Pam: “There is dirt in my bra.”

Steve: “I’m a gay vampire American and I love you, Jason Stackhouse.”

Jason: “Fangs are basically like twin hard-ons.”

Jason: “This dog, don’t bark that way.”

Pam: “She smells.”
Sookie: “Is that bad?”
Pam: “Can’t imagine it’s good.”

Eric: “Ike Applebaum?”

Screen Caps

S5 E1